Monday, 28 March 2011

More Sloppiness

These have been collected from recent editions of the Australian and the Sydney Morning Herald, (with one ring-in from the Sun-Herald):

1. 'early in the film' might work better:

2. 'Will you, will you, will you ...' One 'will' would probably have been enough:

3. 'was hit on March 2' - possibly 'hit' might have been replaced by something slightly less jolting, like 'served' - certainly, my brain leapt to the conclusion at the end of that line that he had been hit with a brick or a chain, rather than with charges, which was confusing, as I got all outraged and then felt rather deflated:

4. I think 'the' would work better than 'its' before 'occupants' - alternatively change 'every' to 'each':

5. The cleaners either swept away the rubble or they swept it into piles that were taken away by others:

6. Perhaps this is not a mistake but a Freudian slip on the part of the Australian source; 'nothing could be further than the truth' may actually be what he said:

7. A few commas would not go astray, plus, if you use 'a', you cannot attach a plural noun to it:

8. It looks like they ran out of capitals after 'Collaborating' (whatever):

9. 'the lastest' - and possibly the roguest:

10. The whole point of the Coalition is to not be 'rad':

11. I wonder what uniforms those bureaucrats are wearing (or could it possibly be that they are actually 'uninformed'?):

12. There is a sentence here that needs to be rewritten, so that the reader doesn't get the idea that there are all sorts of crazy people running around at Al Jazeera wearing both burqas and strappy tops or, in the case of men, business suits combined with dishdashas - presumably some are wearing one thing and the others are wearing the other:

13. a 'be' appears to have gone mysteriously AWOL:

13. Ooh look, how pretty, a superfluous decorative dot:

14. The old positioning of 'either' problem - I think this should read, 'to try to either persuade Mr W and Mr O to change sides or render them so unpopular ....':

No comments:

Post a Comment